Uncertainty: The Feared Opportunity
It's been quite a while since my last post - school and everything else this past semester has kept me really busy, but now I've found some time at the airport with my flight delayed to reflect on the past few months. If there was one word to sum up the past few months, it would have to be uncertainty. Among a community and social group of such driven individuals who are striving for certainty academically, socially, professionally etc., I found myself feeling doomed with my lack of certainty for the semester. It isn't to say that I find it uncomfortable having such a level of uncertainty present in my life but rather that it can be tolling at times to deal with it.
This past semester, I took on various different roles that challenged me. Now I did this all intentionally because I have a bigger goal in mind when it is all said and done, but I won't get into detail with that right now. I set myself up for failure going into the semester essentially. You might be asking yourself, "Why the hell is he intentionally doing this to himself?" I'd respond by saying the opportunity is too good to pass up. If I'm expected to fail and do indeed fail, then it comes as no surprise. On the flip side, if I do end up doing something substantial, the situation becomes an opportunity of tremendous growth then. Most people would look at this situation and see that the expected utility of this dynamic game as a negative value if quantified and see no real benefit. This strikes fear into the hearts and minds of those people. Unlike those individuals, I only see upside since there is positive utility in any outcome for me, and the only thing that differentiates the different outcomes is the varying degree of positive utility. Sorry for describing this from an economic perspective with game theory -- I just grew fond of the entire subject this past semester in my microeconomic theory course.
As a result, I went into the semester anxious but excited. I experienced a whole new side to the spectrum of life experiences this past semester. From learning the runge kutta fourth order method to trying to resolve an unexpected social dilemma, I went through some all time highs and lows in my life. Mentally and psychologically, this has been the easiest yet most taxing period in my life. That may sound oxymoronic but in reality it isn't as contradictory as you might think. Tough tasks and unexpected additions to my plate came left and right, but the people who surrounded me, the leadership roles I undertook, and the unexpected words of praise and wisdom from others made the job at hand easier than it seemed at face value. Most people complain about their lifestyle in the midst of their pursuit towards their desired end goal. I found myself in a situation where I seemingly had more of a reason to whine and complain but actually took it on with ease; sure, I may have an end goal in mind, but the uncertainty of that with the journey and how it is currently unfolding from day to day makes everything so much easier to cope with.
With this comfort with uncertainty comes great risk, and risk leads to fear. It is just natural for people to have an irrational fear of the unknown - I mean who wants to live life with uncertainty all the time. Oh, that's how I probably came across to you up to this point in this post. Don't get me wrong, I still like to have some certainty in my life, but I probably do like living with a little more uncertainty than most others. The reason for this is likely my perception of uncertainty. While for most people uncertainty goes hand in hand with fear, for me, uncertainty goes hand in hand with vibrancy. Everything that has been good and valuable in my life has come out of the blue. This stems off the fact that if there are no set expectations initially, then everything else that results surpasses the ordinary. I guess what I'm trying to say here is that uncertainty should be viewed more so in a positive light than how it is being perceived as of right now. The level and degree of uncertainty you wish to have in your life should definitely be a personal decision that aligns with your core values and life philosophy - I just want to advocate for the world to stop fixating on such concrete things all the time and to just imagine a little more towards the possibilities. We wouldn't be where we are currently if it weren't for people to have the audacity to think, for example, that maybe you can bend metal and fly it over the ocean. The next big contribution to humanity lies with imagination and the uncertainty of the result of those physical thoughts and ideas.
I see that I'm starting to delve off into a metaphysical space with my words and thoughts, so I'll try to end this post shortly. Just remember that life is more beautiful and enjoyable when you don't allow everything to be fixed. Eradicate, or at least try to, the idea that the unknown is useless fear and rather try to perceive it as, at the very least, a fearful opportunity with no drawbacks. Fear is the ultimate gateway towards opportunity so embrace the idea of uncertainty. To conclude, since this was a long, overdue post, take a listen to one of the latest additions to my SoundCloud playlist "December 2015": ATB - Ecstasy (ARMNHMR & DATHAN Flip). This song actually fits well with my perspective on the entire concept of uncertainty and has a pretty dope drop at 3:36 for all you EDM fanatics. Enjoy the holidays everyone!
Uncertainty and mystery are energies of life. Don't let them scare you unduly, for they keep boredom at bay and spark creativity." - R.I. Fitzhenryf
